Tuesday was a day of extremes. And as a praying man it was one of the toughest. The week before saw good friends of mine rushed to hospital – waters breaking fourteen weeks too early must be one of the worst nightmares for any couple. I saw our young people at church mobilized into a community of powerful prayer and practical support. And on Tuesday, Micaiah was born – a mere kilogram, 30cm long, eyes still shut, thirteen weeks before full-term.My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth…
He’s been nicknamed “Superman” by the docs in the prem-unit, as his little lungs are pretty well working (certainly not a given at this stage). I went out to the hospital and we thanked our Lord for His life-giving power, for His faithfulness, His mercy, His love, and His wonder. And we thanked God for little Micaiah. He’s in an airtight bunker in the heart of the hospital, and will be for some time, so it’ll be a while until anyone outside the immediate family sees him, but I saw the digital snaps… The power of Giver of life left me in silent awe.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows this very well…
Four hours earlier I was sitting in another hospital, in another chair. One hand rested on the blanket wrapped around Jacob, a tiny one whom the Lord called back to himself at thirty-six weeks. The other hand held a Bible open at Psalm 139, which I read. Jacob’s parents had said their farewells and could not bear to be there. I went back to see them, and after a while we prayed…
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them…
What do you pray for… in this place? At this time? I phoned a wise saint before I arrived at the hospital. Somewhat enigmatically – I thought at the time – he reminded me of the sovereignty of our Lord. In this place? At this time? That’s so easy to say in the comfortable surroundings of a church or a Bible-study group… it’s a lot harder to say that while walking across a hospital carpark, knowing that you will be talking to people who have just suffered shattering loss, knowing that you will see a baby born without life… I thought that it would be harder to say.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether…
The line from the old prayer book that comes before the Lord’s Prayer springs to mind… O Lord, teach us to pray… I prayed for these two, a couple in love with each other, in love with the Lord and in love with their baby boy. We gave thanks that the Lord is the Lord and Master of today, and that He is in complete control of everything. We thanked the Lord that He is faithful, that He holds Jacob close – and close to His great heart – and that one day at the end of days, the three of them will be able to hold hands once more… We prayed that the Comforter would hold their hearts with the same tenderness that the Father holds Jacob, and that they, too, would be held close to His great heart. Their amens came with the full weight that a heart can bear, yet they were amens, and in this dark, dark time we discovered together how on earth one really can give thanks to the Lord in all circumstances.
Even the darkness is not dark to you… for darkness is as light to you…
It’s not until later that one realises what a strange, mind-bendingly huge thing it is that we believe. It hit me in a Bible study the next day, when Mark 9:1 came up. Jesus, after talking about his impending death and resurrection, said “Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God after it has come with power.” The obvious question – what on earth does that mean – was raised, and we looked at a couple of the thoughts surrounding this strange quote. Some have suggested that Jesus was talking about the coming Transfiguration (which appears in the next passage), many understand this as referring to the return of Jesus at the End, and some understand the kingdom of God coming with power as referring to the resurrection of Jesus (which he had been talking about through that passage). It hit me so hard right then… how powerful is this kingdom that comes with power!
Such knowledge is too wonderful to me; it is high; I cannot attain it…
After three days the power of death was defeated and Jesus walked. By the power of spoken word Jesus raised Lazarus and the daughter of Jairus to life. The power that would bring back tiny Jacob to life is, quite simply, outside our reckoning and our understanding. There is no power on earth that can do that. We have the power to end life, the power to destroy whole cities… but we cannot give life back to one tiny child. There is only One who can do that… and we pray to the Father in His name. It’s one of those Christian clichés, that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow. Maybe we should consider just how powerful that Name is.
The Lord is sovereign. He is indeed the Lord and Master of today, even when we think the day is more than we can bear. What a thing both terrifying and wonderful this is…
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! See if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
The saint who reminded me of the sovereignty of God wasn’t being enigmatic. He’s a speaker of God’s great truth. He recommended reading Psalm 139, which runs through the above notes, and also Isaiah 40:10-11, which I’ll close with.
Behold the Lord comes with might,
And His arm rules for Him;
Behold, His reward is with Him,
And His recompense before Him.
He will tend His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs in His arms;
He will carry them in His bosom,
And gently lead those that are with young.
And His arm rules for Him;
Behold, His reward is with Him,
And His recompense before Him.
He will tend His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs in His arms;
He will carry them in His bosom,
And gently lead those that are with young.
